Talking about her is always harder, but she can try. Talking to him about her has always been easier to boot. She takes a deep breath, fingers tracing the edge of his hand until she knows where exactly to start.
"When we were together, I panicked. I didn't get what you were doing then, I wasn't ready for your plan. I wanted it, but I wasn't ready for it. So I just saw you making plans for us as you giving up things that I wanted you to have, and I didn't want to swallow you. I didn't want us to be all you were because I loved who you were, and I didn't want you to resent me for it later, and it sounds so stupid now, but I was so convinced that I was doing the right thing."
It wasn't. Obviously. She gets that now and he doesn't need to tell her again.
"It wasn't until I got to Boston that I really started to realize how badly I screwed up, and there were so many times that I wanted to just pick up the phone and call you but I felt like I owed it to you to do this in person, but by the time I called to RSPV to Scott's wedding you were already with someone else and I panicked, again, and she was pregnant and ... I thought letting you go was the right thing. Which I'm starting to realize is just a sign that someone should smack some sense into me."
Because clearly when it comes to him she doesn't have any. She runs her fingers over the back of his hand again, holding on to that connection to him as long as he'll let her.
"After we got back to Boston, Lydia got bitten by that alpha, and most of my focus got split between school and her, and whatever times Tyler needed me to play buffer with his dad, it made it really easy to not think about anything else. There was never anyone else, I just ... didn't really see the point. I only really wanted to be with one person."
no subject
"When we were together, I panicked. I didn't get what you were doing then, I wasn't ready for your plan. I wanted it, but I wasn't ready for it. So I just saw you making plans for us as you giving up things that I wanted you to have, and I didn't want to swallow you. I didn't want us to be all you were because I loved who you were, and I didn't want you to resent me for it later, and it sounds so stupid now, but I was so convinced that I was doing the right thing."
It wasn't. Obviously. She gets that now and he doesn't need to tell her again.
"It wasn't until I got to Boston that I really started to realize how badly I screwed up, and there were so many times that I wanted to just pick up the phone and call you but I felt like I owed it to you to do this in person, but by the time I called to RSPV to Scott's wedding you were already with someone else and I panicked, again, and she was pregnant and ... I thought letting you go was the right thing. Which I'm starting to realize is just a sign that someone should smack some sense into me."
Because clearly when it comes to him she doesn't have any. She runs her fingers over the back of his hand again, holding on to that connection to him as long as he'll let her.
"After we got back to Boston, Lydia got bitten by that alpha, and most of my focus got split between school and her, and whatever times Tyler needed me to play buffer with his dad, it made it really easy to not think about anything else. There was never anyone else, I just ... didn't really see the point. I only really wanted to be with one person."